At one point or the other in our lives we feel stuck or feel like the whole world is against us. It seems like it is all over and there is no where else for you to go. Before asking the question on how to start over in life, you have to remember that change is constant.
Change is the one thing that everyone of us would go through – we grow old, mentally we get mature, we fall in love, get our hearts broken,fall sick etc. We all experience change, some happy and some negative.
The problem is that we all know change is something that would happen, but accepting it is difficult. We sink so deep into our comfort zones that we never want to leave it. When we get so comfortable it becomes hard to accept change especially when the change is difficult or something you don’t like.
When a big change is about to happen, a lot of things go through our minds. You start wondering if you are ready to make the sacrifice, if you have the strength or will to see it through and how to start over again. You convince yourself that its best to remain just where you are than take the risk and fail.
When it comes to change, two things can happen:
- You need to make a change so desperately but you don’t know the right decisions to make.
- You know how to start over but you fear that it is too late to make the required changes.
Have you ever been in a terrible situation where you know that nothing is working out? Your career isn’t where you expected it to be, you’ve been working in the same place for a long time and you feel terrible and want to get the hell out of there but scared that it is too late. Or your personal relationship is tumultuous and you don’t know how to make things better.
Sometimes you might have everything going smoothly – you have a stable job that pays well, a beautiful family and a community that cares for you. The only problem is that you are not happy or satisfied with everything you have.
The problem is that most of us keep limiting ourselves because we don’t know how to start over or we feel like it is too late to even try. We don’t know if it is too late to being our journey of self-discovery.
Here are seven steps on how to start over:
1. Don’t Quit After Failing
You should learn to learn to leverage from your mistakes or failures instead of quitting. Ask yourself the following questions:
- “What am I doing wrong?”
- “What can I do to change the results?”
- “Have I been in this kind of situation before and what did I do?”
When things do not work out well, try to process what went wrong. Sometimes you might doing all the right things but following the wrong processes. Let take for instance you are doing an advertising campaign but using all the wrong mediums that would not convert to your ideal clients. You are doing the right thing by advertising but making the wrong moves by marketing it to people who cannot purchase your services.
2. Dump Your Shit
Don’t expect to do the same old things and get a different result. If you really want to answer the question on how to start over, you have to get rid of those who hurt you, stop looking for who to blame for your mistakes or depending so much on the reactions of others. Dump your junk and decide that you dump everything in your past that was holding you back. This would take a lot of practice, but you need to decide that you would start over without any baggage or past regrets.
3. Just Do It…Make the Change
You don’t need validation from anybody for the choices or the decisions you make in your life. If there is any mantra you should follow, it should be Nike’s – “Just Do It“. Start making the changes in your life without waiting for someone to give you a push. You shouldn’t make your choices just to make the people around you comfortable or happy. Most times we are waiting for people who we think are better than us to make the decisions for us even life changing choices.
4. Recycle Whatever Works
Failures and mistakes should serve as a medium to learn instead of being a reason to give up. A failed marriage, a broken heart or lost job should serve as a motivation. At one point or the other, these bad experiences had good moments. So ask yourself, “What did I love about this experience and what would I never do again?” Use the lessons from these answers as tools to make wiser decisions in the future.
5. Be Prepared for Every Outcome
Rome was not built in a day. Sometimes you might find yourself going back to do those things that caused you to fail in the first place.You should be prepared for the moments when you are at your weakest. Lets say you were in a terrible relationship, you can decide to delete their contact so that you wouldn’t have to call them when you are at your weakest.
Sometimes what you feel is easier for you to do doesn’t necessarily mean that it is what is best for you. Plan for the long term and it would be easier for you to make the right choices.
6. Celebrate Small Wins
When you are working towards a goal, it is very healthy for you to celebrate the small wins. You should realise that a long race is a cumulation of small steps, celebrate these small steps. If you just left a toxic relationship, celebrate the fact you don’t have to deal with with lack of trust and heart ache. You should look forward instead to the new relationships you are about to make.
7. Stop Being Scared
The fear of the unknown can leave you stuck and keep you from moving forward. Sometimes when starting over we are scared of making the right decisions because of risks involved.
Success is built on the lessons learned from our mistakes and failures.
Even though you didn’t get what you wanted in the past, that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t now.
Starting over might be inevitable. Tell me in the comments some of the steps you can take to make it easier.